Ben Shapiro talks about what it’s like to be a Jewish hillbilly.

Today was picture day. We hadn’t had a family portrait done since way before the Bear was born, so a friend met us at the beach to do the deed.

This woman is a genius at composing a picture. I once saw her at the mall, behind us in line to take her kiddos for a picture with Santa. When her family’s turn came she not only put each kid where she wanted them, but arranged old Saint Nick as well. As she stood back to allow the photographer to shoot, you could see her scanning the scene and mentally summing it up. She wasn’t obtrusive or rude to the staff, she simply knew how it needed to be done.

Even a brilliant photographer is no match for a baby recovering from a cold who is being asked to look cute at the beach, in the wind, in November. The Bear was in no mood to be trifled with. The Princess wanted to look for shells and sticks and hey, mama, look at that big rock! and were we going to go for a walk after this? Mr. MamaGeph was patient and amazing through it all. But in all the shots we look windblown and squirrelly. Ah, well.

We’re cold, and we’re going home!

…I am stuffing!

You Are the Stuffing

You’re complicated and complex, yet all your pieces fit together. People miss you if you’re gone – but they’re not sure why.

Hewitt and Lileks are covering the whole Target boycott thing, each on opposite sides. The Sonlight boards have a thread going that grew out of the Target snafu, but has turned into a tirade against Walmart. It’s amazing that anyone could take the place they shop for toothpaste as seriously as they do their place of worship.

We live in a pretty rural area. I have three choices:

1. Shop at Walmart for Product X.
2. Shop at “Ma Joad’s Country Boutique” where Product X costs twice as much.
3. Drive an hour so I can make an informed buying decision between Target, Walmart, Freddie’s, Kmart, and The Citizen’s Co-op for Responsible Consumerism.

I actually prefer #3. (What can I say? The co-op has some snazzy Guatemalan prints.) But there is no way I can swing that on a regular basis. And Ma Joad can keep her overpriced goods. I just need to keep the Bear in diapers. So Walmart it is!

Another death from the abortion pill.

(Caution: RU-486 may cause dizziness, nausea, excessive bleeding, ectopic pregnancy, undetected bacterial infections, and death. It’s not too good for the baby, either.)

If this was a pill for prostate cancer or heart disease or erectile disfunction, and had these sort of gruesome side effects, it would already be pulled. But because a woman’s uterus is a political object to be tossed about in debate, it will take many more lives lost to get it off the market.

There’s nothing funnier than a paranoid lip balm addict. Except, perhaps, someone making dryer lint art.

Okay. Back to packing.

Well, thank God.

Now life can get back to normal.

For now, normal is the dining set in the living room as Mr. MamaGeph rips up and replaces the floor in the dining room. Normal is the Princess telling me, “I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I have to _____ right now.” Normal is packing up my books, just when I need an escape hatch.

And normal is the Bear stroking my hair and saying “Pitty!” It’s my dear, sweet, stubborn daughter sighing and whispering, “I just feel safer when you’re around.” It’s my mother-in-law opening up her place at a moment’s notice when I’ve got to get the kids out of the house and it’s raining outside. Normal is good. And I am one blessed Mama to have the daily grind be so exasperating and loving and full of growth.

So – slit my wrists? Mmm, no. Not on my worst day. Not even if my guy had lost. What’s really disturbing is the tide of loons who will see the list as proof of his genius, instead of proof that his brainpan is filled with tater tots and naked mole rats.